Why is it a Lousy System? Most people haven't a clue why the divorce system is so lousy. They go into court expecting things to be FAIR (a four-letter word if there ever was one). Our legal system can't handle divorces effectively because it was NEVER designed to do it in the first place. The courts which we inherited from England had a very limited function. The king took care of the criminals, and the church took care of families. The courts, and their cumbersome system of direct and cross examination and trials by a jury of your peers were designed to handle disputes over money: "Your cow got into my field and trampled my crop," or, "you delivered a short shipment of peppercorns and violated our contract." The courts would then fix an appropriate compensation for the "wronged" party. Is it any wonder that when family disputes started being brought to court, children were treated like possessions, along with the cattle and horses? And why should we be surprised that a system which was designed to affix blame and set a monetary value to the "wrong" should promote conflict as opposed to peaceful resolution? A system which was created for the sole purpose of quantifying blame, and which assumes one party to be "wrong" and the other "right" can't solve problems cooperatively. It certainly can't solve the subjective emotional conflicts of the modern family. The very structure of the divorce courts makes it impossible to quickly and sensitively elicit the information necessary to make good decisions about families. There aren't nearly enough judges and they are rarely trained in family law. More likely, they are former prosecutors who haven't a clue about family dynamics other than their own. Most of them get a few weeks training in family law, then are thrown into the pit to learn on your case. Most family law judges have to handle 5 or 10 times the number of cases assigned to other civil judges, and the number of court filings are steadily rising. Between 1984 and 1995, domestic relations court filings in this country rose 70%. Between 1989 and 1995, domestic violence filings rose 90%! At the same time, population grew only 10%. Yet, rarely are additional judges assigned to family law. They just have less and less time to devote to each case. Yet we keep complaining and adding band-aids to what we have rather than devising a new system to help families resolve their differences. (Here's an idea....keep it out of the courts entirely.) Many divorce lawyers, counselors and judges are trying to do just that, promoting various plans for divorce reform. In the meantime, we're stuck with this system. How To Avoid the Divorce From Hell (and dance together at your daughter's wedding) was written to help people make the best of it. The unrealistic expectations of litigants compound the problem. As a society we have developed the belief that every "wrong" is susceptible to being "righted" by a court. It simply isn't so, but that's what people expect. Then they get into family court, and find out the truth, that there are countless perceived wrongs which the courts have no ability to correct. To find out more about how I feel about court reform, check out my testimony before the California legislative committee considering a reform program called "Family Court" in July of 1996. |