How to find a mentor

Of course, you want to learn at the knee of a master, someone who has exactly the kind of practice you want and who can teach you how to build your own. They are few and far between. As you start to interact with other, more experienced attorneys, ask them how they got started, what they did that really helped them, what they wish they had done differently. Don’t do this on your client’s time, of course. Most good attorneys are grateful for the help they received on the way up and are willing to pass some of it along to a bright young lawyer who is willing to learn. Take advantage of that. And don’t forget to ask the most important question of all: “What are the mistakes that new lawyers make most frequently and how can I avoid them?”

Attend the meetings of your family law groups and meet as many of the more experienced lawyers as possible. Ask them the same questions and make mental note of their answers. Learn to distinguish the egocentric blowhard who takes this as an opportunity to bore you to death with inflated tales of his exploits “in the old days” from the person who is willing to share experiences and lessons in a way that is constructive and helpful to you.

When you attend your local bar meetings, sit at a different table each time. Let the more experienced attorneys know you are out there. Get involved in committee work in your local bar. That is a great way to get known. Of course, it goes without saying that you should do excellent committee work. Be sure you always follow through on what you promise to do. That will show them you can be counted on to do the same for the clients they might refer to you in the future.
Find one or two experienced attorneys with whom you connect and ask them if you can occasionally call them, meet them for lunch or buy some of their time to pick their brains. Don’t make a pest of yourself and use their time wisely. If you call such an attorney, decide what questions you want to ask and what information you need. If you meet them for lunch, pick up the check. Sometimes the offer will be declined because they remember how tight the budget was at the beginning, and if so, accept graciously and insist on picking it up yourself the next time. And then, sometimes you have the reverse problem...

What if the attorney you work for is a brainless twit, who happens to sign the paychecks?

This happens to many new lawyers. You are thrilled to be hired by an experienced family lawyer, so you won’t have to learn your craft on the fly. She looks and sounds good. She has lots of clients, so she must be good, right? After all, how are you supposed to know who is good and who is bad, especially if the person who hired you seems to know their stuff (and they all seem to when you don’t know anything yourself). Then you find out that the person who is training you is lucky to be on the “C” list, when you are aiming for the “A” list.

Brainless twits are out there, a testament to the fact that sometimes family law litigants don’t know they’ve been badly represented, because they don’t know how much better they would have done with a really good lawyer. So they keep sending their friends to their lawyer, and pretty soon someone who talks the talk but can’t deliver the goods has developed a successful practice. That’s not who you want to be. You want to be recognized as someone who knows what he’s doing. And fresh out of law school, everyone knows more than you do. It is easy to make a mistake and think you’re starting out in a good office, only to find that your boss is the laughing stock of his colleagues. Follow the suggestions for finding a mentor and find some experienced and respected attorneys to whom you can turn in a pinch for guidance.

Sometimes it is instructive to see how it shouldn’t be done, assuming you know the difference. Of course, even a jerk knows how to do some things right, so don’t just assume that doing the opposite is better. Continue to watch the good lawyers and emulate their approach when appropriate.

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