Why I wrote How to Avoid the Divorce From Hell After many years as a divorce lawyer, it became clear to me that most people have dreadful experiences in the divorce courts. Part of this is due to the fact that the system itself is lousy and largely unsuited to solving the problems of families. Part of it is due to the unrealistic expectation on the part of many litigants that the legal system can solve all their problems. It wasn’t designed to and it can’t. No wonder so many people are baffled by it. The book isn’t about how crummy the system is. It is about how to make the best of it until something better is devised. Since that takes a long time, we will be working with the existing system for the foreseeable future. The book is about how to avoid the common mistakes that thousands of divorcing people make every day, and which propel them into conflicts they don’t intentionally choose. Most importantly, it is about how to stay out pfthe system entirely, and work out creative solutions to solve their and their families’ problems.. Most people have no clue what the courts can (or can’t) do for them. They don’t realize how really limited the judge’s power can be, and how cumbersome and unwieldy the system itself is. They look for “fairness” and “justice” in all the wrong places rather than realistically assessing their positions, accepting the fact that court is a place of last resort, making the best decisions under the circumstances, and getting on with their lives. I believe that most people start out wanting their divorce to be amicable. They get off the track, however, because they don’t know how to respond to the system, or better yet, how to keep their cases out of it. They don’t know how to tell what is realistic, or how tell when they are spending thousands of dollars chasing rainbows the courts aren’t equipped to provide. How to Avoid the Divorce from Hell goes to great lengths to tell people about how to evaluate the options they have, how to make the best use of available tools, where to turn for help, and how to set realistic goals. If, instead of assuming it has to be war, people believe that it is possible to have that amicable divorce, to dance together at their daughter’s wedding (or bat mitzvah, or whatever), and if they are given useful tools with which to make better decisions, their chances of achieving their goal are vastly improved. That’s what this book is about. Ordering Info
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