Why I wrote Divorce Chronicles: Life Affirming Divorce Poetry I had been a divorce lawyer for nearly fifteen years when I realized that I, too, needed to get a divorce. Since there is little in life that is more emotionally laden than divorce, I looked for a book of divorce poetry which would reflect what I was feeling. I was shocked to find it didn’t exist. The closest thing I found was How to Survive the Loss of a Love, which was immensely helpful, as far as it went. I’ve written poetry all my life, and have long kept a journal. Not surprisingly, the story of my own emotional journey through divorce ended up in that journal. At the time, I had no intention of publishing it. First, it was just too personal. And of course, I was well aware that we all think our own poetry is great, because we wrote it and it reflects how we feel, even if it would cause anyone else to hold their nose. A couple of years later, my life partner, Lee, started encouraging me to publish it, not only because he thought it was good, but because it has a happy ending, something many people in the throes of divorce don’t believe possible. I considered it, but held back. I then began sharing the manuscript with colleagues and friends as they faced their own divorces. They told me it helped them, even if their experiences weren’t exactly the same as mine. I was encouraged to publish it. I still didn’t. I got as far as having the book designed, and there it languished, lacking nothing but a cover layout, for years. Fifteen years have passed since the poetry was written. People still tell me it helps them. Whether it is because enough time has now passed that it doesn’t seem so raw, or I’ve just become willing to take a chance on exposing those feelings, I don’t know. Whatever the reason, I’m now ready to share it, in the hope that it helps someone else. If you get nothing more from it, realize that divorce is not linear. There are ups and downs, doubts and “what’ifs,” forging forward and backsliding. No one is right all the time and no one is wrong all the time. Although there are many common themes and feelings, your experience will not be exactly like anyone else’s, including mine, your brother’s or your best friend’s. However, if you go through the process consciously and thoughtfully, it can result in a happy ending. Mine did. Table of Contents |